Me: “dad am i adopted?”
Dad:no, ur David. why woud anyone name you ‘Adopted’? even if we wanted to, ur name was alredy David when we adopted you

Reblog2 weeks ago with 89,647 notes


the only disadvantage to cereal is you cant hear anything while watching tv

Reblog3 weeks ago with 255,860 notes


maybe ur dick is so small because you shoved 2/3 of it into your personality

Reblog1 month ago with 121,289 notes